Silence is oftentimes golden...
In the perfect world, I would have content available once a week. But that is not always the case. Some days I can write thousands of words, and others I struggle to get five. It always depend on the mood and energy around me. I hadn’t really been in the writing mood these past three weeks. I’ve found myself doing more reading, than writing; More studying, than teaching. More listening, than talking. That was a good thing. Silence is oftentimes golden when used at the right times.
As I finished putting on my make-up...
As NYE neared this year, I felt an urge to do something different. In past years I would either go to church, a party, or celebrate in an intimate setting with a few friends. This year, I wanted to do something different: I wanted to be in my own home. I almost changed those plans, to attend a small gathering; but the universe had a way of bringing me back to the center. That center came in the form of an emotionally drawn phone call at roughly 10:30pm. Just as I finished putting on my make-up, the tears gently began to run down my face; carrying small bits of eyeliner with them, leaving the whites of my eyes with shades of dark pink. I needed to stay home.
I didn’t want to be social. I didn’t want to have the typical new years’ kiss. I didn’t want to celebrate. I wanted to meditate.
Oh 2017...
I needed this time alone to sit and think about what I wanted to change. 2017 was a very difficult, yet prosperous year for me. It was my cocoon year. Similar to the process a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly; the most important stage is the cocoon; as 2017 was to me. During this stage, the caterpillar stops eating, hangs itself upside down, and begins to spin a web of silky chrysalis around itself as it begins the process of transformation. This is a very tricky process. As they are transforming themselves internally, the world is still moving around them. They are hit by rain, cold, heat, strong winds, etc. As everything is going on around the cocoon, it is still undergoing a painful process. 2017 was that process for me.
The process of finding myself again. The process of falling in love with myself again. The process of letting go of unfruitful relationships. The process of knowing and only accepting my worth. The process of accepting and living in my truth. This process was painful… And I still feel a little bit of it.
Not a Kobe, but 2018 is the year of the butterfly...
But, I made it and so did you. We made it to see the year 2018, the year that so many of our loved ones were not given time to see. Because of that, we must continue to promise to keep living; even when it’s painful. As we know, life is quite cyclical; what goes around always come back around again. I mean look at the change in style now? Our young men are bringing hi-top fades back and lustrous Afros are running the game! 2018 is the year of the butterfly. When you feel yourself needing to break out of the cocoon; allow yourself to fly :-)